(Texas)
My step father gets up and starts drinking early in the morning. Usually by after lunch his face is very very red or even black. He started drinking beer and now drinks mostly vodka. He hides his bottle of vodka from my mother but she can find it and it appears like he must drink about a half gallon of vodka a day or within 2 days its gone and he has a new one. He drinks this straight from the bottle he does not mix it with anything.
In the past few months we have found him laying on the floor but he will say he tripped. However, it happened in front of me one day and it appeared to me he was having a stroke. If you ask him about it he will brush it off as he lost his balance or tripped and refuses to go to the doctor. When he gets up in the mornings he looks fine by lunch after drinking from 7 am or earlier his face has become very very red, turning to a bluish black everyday. Can you please give me some insight on why this is happening.
Reply
This must be very scary for you. I can understand your concerns. Although I am not a medical doctor, I know that it is common for a person’s face to turn red when drinking alcohol. This happens because the blood vessels under the skin are dilated. A person’s blood is thinner when drinking, and this causes an increase in blood pressure. This increase in blood pressure can also affect skin color.
However, I am not aware of a reason for skin turning blue or black. I would recommend that he consult a doctor about this.
Since you cannot force him to see a doctor, I recommend that you lovingly point out your concerns to him. Tell him that you notice a change in his skin color throughout the day. You do not necessarily have to blame it on the alcohol. He knows that he has been drinking during the day so there is no need to point out the obvious. Simply tell him that his skin color does not look healthy, and you are worried. Tell him it may be worth a visit to the doctor.
Also, share your concerns with your mother. She may have more influence on him in terms of getting him to a doctor.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.