by Anon
(Usa)
It hurts. I’m an alcoholic. My father was alcoholic and died from it at 56 and I stand here today knowing that and still drink. I’m 34 and “think” I have signs of decay, yet have gone back to the doctor after elevated liver enzyme results. I’m scared. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I help myself or for that matter want to? I am so weak. The alcohol has affected my job and now my personal life. My husband wants to send me to rehab but he drinks too but that doesn’t change that I hurt him too. Most days I go to work and hopefully avoid confrontation in hopes they won’t smell it on me (which they have and I still get second or third chances). I’m good at what I do. I hurt right now. It hurts that I might die of the same thing my dad did and I feel like shit that I may hurt others, particularly my mother, in a whole new level. I love her so much. She doesn’t deserve this but I can’t tell her. Alcoholism is a disease…I know that more than ever now and still can’t change. It makes me feel like a horrible person because I am. Every week I say it is my “detox” week. Hardly. I started drinking in the morning (granted, only on weekends a plus?). It hurts.
My drink of choice: Jameson
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.