by Vickie
(Portland, Oregon, USA)
I met my husband in January of 2015. He told me at that time that he drank a few beers each night but that he wasn’t an alcoholic. We ended up together, and he moved into my home. Well, that is what he did; he drank his few beers each night. Sometimes, however, he would drink more, especially if we went out to dance, and then he would switch to Jack Daniels, double Jacks, and he would become quite intoxicated. He was so charming, so cute and bright, and funny, that in spite of my misgivings, I fell head over heels for him.
Fast forward to May of 2016. He talked me into moving to Las Vegas. We went there to check it out and got married while we were there. We moved there on June 6th. 2016. That’s when things took an extreme turn for the worst. He started drinking much more and stopped working. He was a tool salesman who sells over the phone and works from home. We purchased a used mobile home, in a senior park, and the rent got behind, the bills got behind. Then I got sick, he broke his leg at a casino, and it all went to hell. He had his best buddy and coworker move down to Vegas and things got even worse. He would drink all night, coming to be at 3 or 4 am. While he was awake, he would keep me up, even though I had to get up for work at 5:30 am. When I protested, he would become verbally abusive, calling me terrible names, claiming I didn’t love him, that I wanted to sleep with his buddy, etc.
I finally had to leave him on December 29th, 2016. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I went back to Portland and had to stay with my daughter because my house is rented out for the long term. 6 months went by. I fly to Vegas periodically, to see him, but refused to go back. Finally, his buddy told me he was very sick, in and out of the hospital, and he needed me so I went back. It lasted about 8 weeks before I had to leave again. He is sick, he is occasionally vomiting blood, and he has constant bloody diarrhea. He has a VERY low white blood cell count. I have been back in Portland again for 3 months. He texts me occasionally, telling me he misses me, he loves me. I tell him I Love Him and I send him back a pic of a six month AA chip and tell him to “bring me one of these”. What else can I do? I can’t fight this battle for him, make this choice for him. I can only tell him I love him and wish him well.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.