by Giovanna
(Florida )
My boyfriend is having a hard time with alcoholism and over the weekend he had a bad time of it and called me; he was unable to walk, unable to talk coherently, was repeating himself over & over. Did not urinate all night till the next morning. When we went to bed we switched sides several times because he wanted to. He was making growling noises, and he wanted me right next to him with my arm over him. I Got up to get him water several times. He kept saying no one cared about him and that he was a piece of shit. He kept apologizing to me. I was not sure whether I should have called 911?
Today he is going to his doctor. He hasn’t been going to work. I feel like he cannot deal with things. I am scared!
Reply
That must have been scary for you. In the future, if you are worried about his physical well-being, it would be wise to take him to the hospital or call 9-1-1. You mentioned that he is going to the doctor. Hopefully the doctor can point him in the direction of local help for alcohol abuse.
It sounds like he is also struggling emotionally and shared some of his feelings with you while he was under the influence of alcohol. I highly recommend that he attend regular counseling sessions to deal with the triggers for his alcohol abuse. A licensed counselor can be a tremendous help in recovery from alcoholism as well as prevention of potential alcoholism. There are many options available when it comes to counseling and his insurance will likely cover it. If he doesn’t have insurance, most cities have free or low cost options as well.
In the meantime, you need to evaulate your relationship with him. Is it healthy? Is he capable of giving you what you need at this time and committing to a serious relationship. If he is struggling with alcoholism, it is likely that he needs to be in recovery for a while before he can have a successful romantic relationship. Here is more information on dating an alcoholic.
The most important thing you can do is support and encourage him. You can be a friend to him and someone who believes in his ability to live life without abusing alcohol. Be careful not to enable him and don’t be afraid to ask for help from authorities, doctors, friends, and family. You need to take care of yourself as well.
Learn more about alcohol addiction recovery here.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.