Last Hangover

by No Name
(New York)

Last night I met a friend for dinner and had two glasses of wine.

I was on my way home after, and told myself I would have “one” more and stopped at this bar my neighbors own. Well I that didn’t happen and I remember seeing my neighbor there and his wife who I am more friends with was not there. He sat and chatted with me and asked me questions about my recent divorce and I told him, but do not remember what all I said.. I remember him telling me some of the problems he had but I’m realizing it may not have been appropriate. I’m worried what if I said or did something. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with is wife as her boys play with son all the time. I messaged him today and told him I didn’t remember much and if I said or did anything offensive, I was sorry. He told me he had me ubered home (I did not know where my car was this am) and he said I was good, no need to apologize. I am going to their house tomorrow for their son’s party but I can’t help but dwell. I’m going through a tough time with my divorce and am very vunerable right now.

Then when I got home last night.. apparently I walked over to my other neighbors house, woke them up, asking for more booze. This neighbor walked me home but I was plastered, couldn’t find my keys and peed myself in front of her on my front porch. Then I set my alarm off and the cops showed up.. All was settled by my neighbor as I was in a drunken state in my house.

I told myself no more and am attending my first meeting on Tuesday.

The shame and guilt and worry from blacking out is overwhelming..